Here I Am by Downhere

Hey Guys,

ITS BEEN SO LONG.

So i recent heard this song, Here I Am by Downhere and one of the parts just hit me:

Overwhelmed by the thought of my weakness and the fear that I'll fail you in the end

So things have been really difficult lately, midterms, homework thats been piled up.. This song is definitely a source of strength for me.

I promise to do a full Fall Quarter blog later.

Tucson

Day Camp and such

So, I am now in the summer before my freshman year in college. Man, it feels almost surreal to think that this is my last summer as i know it. Next year, its going to be a whole new thing. I am trying to make the most of it though- Im trying to get to know my brother Nat, trying to tan before i get to college so that i'm not the palest thing there, and I am trying to improve my personality. Hopfully, when i write the summer reflection blog, i'll notice some change.

I really wished that i had pictures of the summer so far, it was pretty fun actually. So three notable things this month- Praise Night at David's Church... im actually shocked that I know so many people there.. or at least know their names. It was also fun seeing a couple music camp kids there =D. Day Camp has been pretty fun. Kids are a bit aggravating at times but otherwise its alright. And finally, we saw transformers. Needed more Megan Fox and a longer last fight scene... its like one hit and done. thats it.

ANYWAYS, so tired. Today was the fundraiser and now im exhausted. More soon.

June 1st

So, its 12:58AM (at the start of the blog) on June 1, 2009. High school is more or less over with. Monday, i have one "final", Tuesday and Wednesday I'm free to go do whatever, Thursday is Grad Rehearsal, Friday is Senior Luncheon, and then the Monday following is Graduation. In a few short days, I'm going into a whole new world and I have mixed emotions about that. 

For my one follower, I am going to go to college in the fall and I am kind of nervous about starting a new school. I have decided not to room with anyone I know and to go with a new person. I hope to start off college differently than how I started high school. To be perfectly honest, I've kindof isolated myself this year, keeping minimal contact with everyone, and not doing much outside of the (almost) bare minimum. I think I will start college with trying to look at the organizations there, and join a few, keep better ties with friends, and iono... we'll see...

I need to remember to check this more =P

May- a time of reflection for seniors

Well, its the month of May... AP exams next week, senior finals soon after, then graduation.... It seems like only yesterday, i was struggling with accelerated math in my freshmen class and now here i am, procrastinating like crazy trying to pull of the C in my physio class.

Its been a strange journey, to say the least, and as i start a new journey into college, i can only imagine what challenges come ahead. I do know that i can rely on these past few years as inspiration for the future.

Psalm 119:71 says "My suffering was good for me, for it taught me to pay attention to your decrees." 

I have lost contact with people I have worked hard to build bonds with, I have made new friends, new brothers, new network of people to rely on and its been both sad and inspiring with our school christian club. Being one of three people present in the leadership is very discouraging and seeing as how everyone seems to be falling away from religion because of bad impressions or because of misconceptions that we have not bothered to clear up is very painful to see. I am guilty myself of not doing my best to try to help other people understand and it seems to be a push now to be more vocal about my faith. 

As for college, I have seen the decision bring many struggles to my life. Visiting a college in LA, i had to rush to make a flight to LA and all i was wearing was my Salvation Army uniform. Upon arriving in LA, I discovered that our luggage had been mishandled and lost somewhere in the not-so-friendly skies. To make a long story short, I had to wear that around town for the evening and it showed me what a dedicated group of christians can do. A group of christians can make an impact in so many people's lives- like the Salvation Army and many many other churches. Everywhere I went, someone recognized the uniform and thanked me of the help they received or a friend or family member received and I felt bad that I hadn't really done much. 

This made me think back to my life verse- John 15:13- "There is no greater love than to lay down one's life for one's friends" I think that by friends, its not just people we go enjoy movies with, its not just the people we go to class with, its everyone around us. The mom on the train, the pedestrian on the street, the person in the elevator. We all need to do what we are called to do and spread the love of Jesus and to not the the struggles in life bring us down because the struggles should bring us closer to God. He is just waiting for us to reach out and he will pull us up. 

As I go to college, and as many other people start new phases of their lives, remember these two verses for they are very special and very key to life. 

Love You Guys!

SIR'd

I just sent in my SIR for UC Davis... kind of in shock that im so close to college now.. heh I've always thought that I would go to Davis (especially when I thought the entire world consisted of Cal, UCLA, UCSD, and UCD)... or up until last year when I visited UCLA. Comparing these two schools, I think UCD is the better place for me after all. It doesn't feel as crowded as UCLA, there nice clean fresh air, its closer to home, and it will be a bigger challenge for me to adjust at Davis.

I think I wanted to go to SoCal because its easy there. Family, friends, familiarity with some places there, but I think I need a new change. I'm probably not going to know many people here at Davis, at least to begin with, and I can use this opportunity as sort of a fresh start.

So, now what? I think i'm going to try some changes- maybe try again at volleyball, make some new and interesting friends, be a better roommate, deffinitely sing more. I think I will try to make myself come up with a list of things I want to change in my life- at least in college. Work in progress... haha

Congrats to everyone who has SIR'd and Good Luck to everyone who is still deciding.

Youth Councils 09

So basically, this weekend was youth councils and I think it kinda sucked compared to other years but it was also pretty interesting at some points. There was WAY TOO MUCH FOOOOOODDD things- caramel on the faces, banana on the feet, food, food, food, food, food, and food. WAY TOO MUCH! BUT I think it was a great time just to hang out relax and get to know the guys better. We had lots of time where we just hung out.

On Sunday, however, it was pretty amazing. Theres this thing called the "Everything Skit" and i've seen it a few times before but this time, for some reason, I just started crying and crying when i saw the part that gets exciting. In fact, im crying now thinking about it... The skit was very exciting and moving this time i saw it. Maybe it was the weekend building up, maybe it was because I really felt the calling this weekend, but whatever it was, I was just blown away when i saw this.

I hope this is not some high and that you guys can keep me accountable to this commitment to ministry. WOW alot there but yeah. Heres the skit

The Heart of Worship

When the music fades, and all has stripped away, and I simply come.
Longing just to bring, something thats of worth, that will your heart.
I'll bring you more than a song, for a song in itself is not what you have required.
You search much deeper within, through the way things apear,
You're looking into my heart...
Lyrics from The Heart of Worship by Matt Redman

So I fractured my hand last week the day before I was supposed to lead worship and two days before I was supposed to go to the Chris Tomlin concert in SJ. I was pretty bummed out and was kinda struggling to get things to work out. I later realized that one of the songs in my set, The Heart of Worship, was the perfect song for that week. It made me remember that music is just one aspect of worship. There are many other ways to worship and we sometimes put too much emphasis on music worship in our lives. This past week has shown me many things about worship and how we can find many many ways to worship God and to share that worship with others.

We can worship God through prayer- At SFKUMC, I attend the Friday fellowship there and we try to spend at least 5 minutes each week praying after the bible study just to help us come back to God, end the night focusing on Him and what He has taught us and just asking Him for help and praising Him.

We can worship God through fellowship (and food)- On the way to the Chris Tomlin concert, Nathaniel and I had the chance to sit, eat, and talk with each other and share how we've been doing spiritually, emotionally, mentally, and many other ways. We could've spent that time listening to music without talking to each other, or talking about things not glorifying to God, or talking about worldly things only like college, work, summer plans, things that are not sinful but not glorifying either. It was an amazing time to get to sit and talk about our spiritual walks (as well as life, I admit) and just praise God with what has happened since we last seen each other.

We can worship God through shopping- Yes, a weird one I admit. A friend of mine and I were at Borders the other day and we were looking through the books hoping to find something to help us share our faith with three of our friends. We hope to give them a book to help them figure things out after our conversation in the near future..... I don't know how this one will turn out so more later.

And yes, we can worship God through music. Probably the one that has gotten me the most questions in these past few days. The Chris Tomlin concert was one of the many ways in which we can worship God through music. Chris Tomlin says it perfectly:

We will sing, sing, sing and make music with the heavens, we will sing, sing, sing, grateful that you hear us when we shout your praise, lift high the name of JESUS!
Lyrics from Sing, Sing, Sing by Chris Tomlin

Hallelujah! We can listen to music praising God, we can sing our praises to God, we and make music to worship God, we can share song with others when praising God too. The most important thing about worship is not that we are thanking God for everything in our lives but that we are CHOOSING to SPEND THE TIME with God with an open and grateful heart ready to receive a message through the bible or through fellowship, ready to see a song in a whole new light, ready to be amazed, ready to be hugged, and ready for the great things that have been done, the great things being done now, and the great things to come from God.